March 2012
1 post
Here I find myself yet again laying down at four in the morning. No sleep to be found. No peace to be found. Just constant mental pacing. Back and forth. Back and forth. Between point A and point B. What do I do about something that affects the biggest part of my life, a part I have no control over? Should I do something? Should I try? If so, what the fuck is it. I’d like to know because the...
February 2012
2 posts
Been having weird dreams lately. Had one last night that legitimately disturbed me :/ Hoping I don’t have another one tonight.. But other then that been feeling pretty good lately. Hopefully things work out for the better :)
I'm back
It’s been way too long Tumblr. 5 months? D’ohhh yes.
September 2011
2 posts
Beware the stare of Mary Shaw,
She had no children only dolls.
And if you ever see her in your dreams,
Be sure you never ever scream.
Dead Silence is probably one of the scariest movies I’ve ever seen in my life, but so so so good. I could get used to weekly horror movie marathons.
You are a hypocritical, using, no good piece of fucking trash. Choke on your own shit and die a long death.
August 2011
24 posts
My friend Ariana died a few days ago :/ No idea how, no idea why but it makes me realize how short life can be. She wasn’t even 21 and she had her life taken away from her. RIP Ariana :/ :(
I have discovered a hidden appreciation for Eminem’s rapping, awesome music. Wrong about rap :) at least some of it
I love it when boyfriends don’t let their girlfriends talk to me, lets me know I’m a threat to them -__- Fucking retards
So glad I did that :)
Hope this doesn't come out sounding stupid
Came to a realization today. Instead of wollowing in my own misery about how im wasting away my summer, and instead of letting all my emotions pile up I’ll actually open up. Whenever I have a feeling about someone I’ll let them know it. Tomorrow I will not sleep in until 2 in the afternoon, I’m setting an alarm for 10am and I’m getting out by 11 and getting a birthday card...
Shitttty poetry #2 one of many ways ill let it out
There are times when I have to let these feelings out
Times when it’s all I think about
Sitting thinking and pondering
These thoughts keep me wondering
What if I said it?
Would I love it?
Or would I regret it?
One of these days it will all come out
All let out
Only then will i know how it feels
To feel something that doesnt hurt, but heals
Scars from a broken man
Feeling as part...
I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. STOP LOOKING AT MY GOD DAMN FACEBOOOK THERE IS A REASON I BLOCKED YOU. I DONT WANT YOU KNOWING WHAT IM DOING AND KNOWING WHO I AM NOW. IM A NEW PERSON AND A BETTER PERSON THEN THE ONE YOU KNEW. LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. THE SIGHT OF YOUR FACE MAKES ME PHYSICALLY SICK TO MY STOMACH. JUST...
“These ideas are nightmares,
for white parents whose worst fear,
is a child with dyed hair,
and who likes ear rings”
For some reason those song lyrics just stick to me. Everytime I hear this song and those lyrics it sends chills up my spine. Because it’s true. Parents these days are scared. Scared of having a kid that’s different. Fathers impregnate mothers, then...
“Opportunities multiply as they are seized”
– Sun Tzu
Ok… Just looked at a huge list with a shitload of upcoming movies that are coming out sometime between now and around 2016ish. Quite a few that are based of video games; Kane and Lynch, Metal Gear Solid, Halo etc. But there were a few that caught my interest. Including a alot of super hero movie sequels like my personal favorite, The Amazing Spiderman :)! It made number 3 on the list of a...
“I’d rather be hated for who I am, then loved for who I’m not.”
– Kurt Cobain
Shitty poetry lol i tried
My time keeps ticking
The clock next to my bed keeps clicking
Birds outside singing
But my damn phone keeps ringing
The same name everytime
I just want to fuckin go hide
Im hearin people so oh its okay
Well no its not, but hopefully it will be that way
Someday, someday I hope this goes away
Never to be seen again,
Heard again,
Never to be known again,
It needs to start melting down
...
THUNDERSTORMS! LIGHTNING! RAIN! YESSSSSSSSSSS!!
“We were made in his image.”
“He died for our sins.”
“You have free will, as long as you worship me.”
I was made in no one’s image, but my own. I wasn’t spawned by God. My mother was pregnant with me for 9 months, she gave birth to me at 19 years old and raised me into the person I am today. And I think she did a damn good job if I do say so...
Such a fucking geek. I had a dream last night that I was black suited spiderman robbing a walmart and beating people up like crazy. It was actually fun, I wish dreams were real xD Pretty good day ahead, need one like yesterday soon thoughh
Absolutely amazing day today :) I think I’m gonna need another one soon. It was refreshing to feel a connection like that with someone again. No matter which way this goes, I can already tell this will end with a happy Malcolm :) It’s been a long time since I have had a friend I feel a connection with, but I really like it :)
It’s interesting how an abstract concept can make a person realize what is really important in life. Realize just how things stack up and where priorities should be and which order they go in. How a single outing can make my mood do a complete 180. Things seem alot clearer than they have been, like a hand has cleaned the slate and started anew. At the beginning of the summer I was miserable,...
Making a girl feel better? In my opinion, no better feeling in the world :) Tonight and today, were both amazing
“We all know and we understand, the “mighty god” is a living man.”
– Bob Marley
July 2011
29 posts
Had a dream last night about killing zombies with a wiffle ball bat with Spiderman’s aid, woke up this morning and playedd Spiderman: Web of Shadows on the xbox 360 and going to the mall today? Sounds like a damnnnnn goood time to me
“The only monsters in this world are the mothers from Toddlers in Tiaras”
– Daniel Tosh
“Survival is all about the sun and water, staying out of one and finding another.”
– Bear Grylls
Nightmare last night. Odd too cuz I never really have them. It was a couple together in this old victorian style looking room, with an old fashioned bed and mirror and everything. Something I have always found creepy, eery even, that 18th century feel has always sent chills up my spine. And the couple, they were people but at the same time they werent. They had circular eyes, the pupils were...
So I just went to taco bell, ordered 3 cruchwraps and down them instantly. But the awesome part is the 10 minute conversation about music I just had with the drive through guy. Don’t you love it when that happens? :)
Startin to do the same shit again. I think it’s because yet again I’m holding things inside, which is odd because thats what this is for. But this isn’t something that is making feel like shit, well keeping it in is but this should be a good thing. I’m hoping this is a good thing, its alot bigger of a feeling then I’ve felt in a long time. And I just need to build up...
:/
“I’d like to dedicate this next song to the United States and our armed...”
– Sully Erna, Godsmack
“What happens, is going to happen. There is nothing you can do about it. So enjoy...”
– Mildreth Benoit
Mayhem Fest 2011
Originally I was going to wait until tomorrow to blog about it but I can’t wait. It was amazing. The amount of energy in that venue was astonishing. The headlining show opened up with Trivium, who played a pretty solid set. I think it was about the shortest of the four headliners but it was good none the less. A good way to start out and get everyone pumped up, nice double base and a few...
had a wicked goood day today :) watched some movies withhh a close friend of mine and relaxedd in my AC :D. Hopefulllly we can plan another one soon. Been feeling better lately, not so much negativity in my mind anymore which is a good thing. I owe it to my friends and family and this i suppose. It is realllly helping :) my blogs and posts are so boring but they are realllyl helpfull. more to come...
:)
yetttt again couldnt stop thinking today but heyyy im not complaining. im super fucking excited about next july now :) but i dont want to spend the time i have left looking forward to something id rather live life now and savor what i have and hope it doesnt go away <3 ive had these feelings for literally years and they came out this summmer :) and i dont think they’ll ever diminish, and...
againn
again just the thought of you has kept me awake and dreaming and thinking once again. i am someone who enjoys his sleep. so for me to actually enjoy being kept up at night at the thought of you, is astonishing :) hopefully it happens more often, because i could get used to it
off my back
sorry for the constant posts.. But something this time feels different. Like, really different. But a good different. I think about alot of things at once, and it makes me sick. Emotionally ill. Thats one of the reasons i got this blog. But there is something else.. Something else that always manages to take my mind off of things. Whenever I think about you, I tremble. I get butterflies and my...
