Here I find myself yet again laying down at four in the morning. No sleep to be found. No peace to be found. Just constant mental pacing. Back and forth. Back and forth. Between point A and point B. What do I do about something that affects the biggest part of my life, a part I have no control over? Should I do something? Should I try? If so, what the fuck is it. I’d like to know because the constant lingerance and back tracking will eventually drive me straight to the brink of insanity. But will insanity give me a different perspective? A better one? A worse one? Question after question after question. Night after night after night. And where have I gone? What progress through this fucking maze have I made.. None. Everyday for me is a struggle now. Whether it’s to keep up with the happenings at home, the fighting and drama that I thought I escaped from in High School. If anything it’s flying at me too fast to even understand why, or where it came from. I feel the need now to be around others. If I’m alone, my thoughts grow louder and my troubles grow stronger. I’m forced to think, think about what I have done in the past; the people I’ve wronged, the horrible things I’ve seen and done, all the regrets, the roads avoided.. I find myself trapped. Alone. That’s the worst part. I’m alone. And I hate it. I hate the feeling I have when I’m alone now. It’s all I can think about, all I dwell on. Lonliness.. I wonder just how much longer I can handle being alone before something happens. I don’t know quite what, but something. This should back up what I’m saying.. I’m finding comfort in typing words onto a fucking computer screen to NOBODY. Well.. It’s late, or early, either way.. I’m going to try and sleep.. Definitely will be making this another frequent online visit..
Been having weird dreams lately. Had one last night that legitimately disturbed me :/ Hoping I don’t have another one tonight.. But other then that been feeling pretty good lately. Hopefully things work out for the better :)
Beware the stare of Mary Shaw,
She had no children only dolls.
And if you ever see her in your dreams,
Be sure you never ever scream.
Dead Silence is probably one of the scariest movies I’ve ever seen in my life, but so so so good. I could get used to weekly horror movie marathons.
You are a hypocritical, using, no good piece of fucking trash. Choke on your own shit and die a long death.
My friend Ariana died a few days ago :/ No idea how, no idea why but it makes me realize how short life can be. She wasn’t even 21 and she had her life taken away from her. RIP Ariana :/ :(
I have discovered a hidden appreciation for Eminem’s rapping, awesome music. Wrong about rap :) at least some of it
I love it when boyfriends don’t let their girlfriends talk to me, lets me know I’m a threat to them -__- Fucking retards